Post by vance winsor on Apr 4, 2008 10:45:21 GMT -5
What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot
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What's the difference between a man and Bigfoot?
One is covered with matted hair and smells awful. The other has big feet
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Q: Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?
A: He couldn't face defeet
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What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Maybe someday we'll find Bigfoot.
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One day, a blonde bigfoot's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the bigfoot crying, and asks her what happened. The bigfoot said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the bigfoot crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''
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Three blonde bigfoot's were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde bigfoot, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.
''Easy,'' she replied. ''He only has one eye.''
The chief was stunned. ''He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!'' He repeated the procedure for the second blonde bigfoot and again asked how she would recognize him.
''He only has one ear,'' was her answer.
''What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!'' He repeated the procedure for the third bigfoot, then said, ''How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.''
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, ''He's wearing contact lenses.''
This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, ''How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!''
''Well,'' she said, ''he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he
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Once there was a blonde bigfoot who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the bigfoot was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!
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There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot
****************************************************
What's the difference between a man and Bigfoot?
One is covered with matted hair and smells awful. The other has big feet
****************************************************
Q: Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?
A: He couldn't face defeet
****************************************************
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Maybe someday we'll find Bigfoot.
****************************************************
One day, a blonde bigfoot's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the bigfoot crying, and asks her what happened. The bigfoot said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the bigfoot crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''
****************************************************
Three blonde bigfoot's were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde bigfoot, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.
''Easy,'' she replied. ''He only has one eye.''
The chief was stunned. ''He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!'' He repeated the procedure for the second blonde bigfoot and again asked how she would recognize him.
''He only has one ear,'' was her answer.
''What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!'' He repeated the procedure for the third bigfoot, then said, ''How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.''
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, ''He's wearing contact lenses.''
This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, ''How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!''
''Well,'' she said, ''he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he
****************************************************
Once there was a blonde bigfoot who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the bigfoot was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!
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